Too Busy!

Been very busy with commitments the last week. We celebrated Valentines Day on Monday at a favorite restaurant of G's. It was kind of nice that it wasn't overcrowded and the focus wasn't on couples. We were relaxed and enjoying the evening just for us. After we got home we discussed past relationships and V day. I know it probably wasn't an appropriate time, but we are really good at joking about former significants. One thing that came up was the fact that if you don't celebrate your relationship in some way it can become routine and boring. It loses passion. We haven't lost that.....

Last night we had dinner with a couple who are expecting another baby in a few weeks. Our friend who is not having the baby just lost her job this month and was asking me several questions about caring for more than one child. She is finding it difficult being alone all day with their daughter and finds it perplexing that one could even handle two, much less three or quite possibly four for me. There is a mindset to it.
It is all about the kids and what makes them happy makes me happy. I didn't try to gloss it over and admitted that some people find it difficult to spend that much time with children...even their own.
They are excited, yet a little nervous with the approaching birth.
I found out from them that the person not giving birth can not legally adopt the child in our state. If the birth mom dies she will not have any rights to the child EVEN WITH THE WILL. That is just insane! Blood rules over a will. So if any family member would request the children they could win depending on the judge.
If the judge thinks that it is in the best interest of the children to live with relatives because of some bias on what constitutes family then that is what stands.

I would like to have my own child, but I don't know how I would even go about making that possible. It looks like adoption would only be possible through G and I would have no rights to the child. I don't think it would work for me. I don't think I could trust everyone in our lives to be supportive if a day would come in which I would be alone with the child.
I guess it comes down to the world being pretty crappy right now for a child to be brought into it in these circumstances.

I think life is passing me by and I don't know what to do about it. I hope in the end I don't have more regrets then I can handle.

We are kind of stuck in the house today. There is an ice storm right now and will change to snow shortly. Maybe the little one and I will make some cookies or something else messy. Messy is fun!