Saturday, January 07, 2006

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

We are having a great weekend around here. Last night we went out with two other couples for a birthday dinner. We ate at a Japanese restaurant where they cook the food in front of you. I was kind of hesitant at first, but the dressings and sauces were exploding with flavor. I really liked it, although could not eat it all the time because it was very rich. After dinner we went the first gay bar I have been to in over a year. Everyone was kind of picking on me about being the quiet, shy, librarian who was probably wild in private. Gretch wouldn't let on to anything and later asked if I felt bad about the conversation. I said of course not, I was the youngest and the most attractive of the bunch, I took it as a compliment. yeah, I know, shut up already.. That got me knocked down on the bed for some tickling and such.
We also got into a hilarious conversation about Oprah's show on Nordstom's and bra fitting. One couple went to Chicago recently and had a fitting with one of the women that was on the show. She was describing what this woman had to do to get the correct measurements. Of course I said I would never do something like that and everyone started laughing, as one girl asked if I was a Cancer. I asked how she could tell and everyone was laughing again. I should just stick to being the quiet one. It is rare that I get chatty, but I guess it was good for once.

So, shall we update what is happening with the cheating friends of G's? It has been rather annoying these past two months to get disturbing phone calls of the type that have been occurring. Cheating is bad, very, very bad. If anyone ever thinks it isn't they should rethink it. It affects so many people and it is cruel!

Instead of two, we are up to three friends. I am not even kidding here. The third one is in the beginning stages of an emotional affair with someone at work. Emotional cheating is relying on a friend for comfort and support of which you should only be getting from a significant other. This kind of friendship ultimately progresses across the line.

The first two have developed very bad consequences. Very bad to say the least.
Person A was cheating with someone at work. She asked G to cover for her and G refused. A couple weeks later she was over at the guy's house because his wife was away and guess what....She came home and caught them. It wasn't pretty as you can imagine. The woman gave G's friend 48 hours to tell her husband and she tossed her husband out of the house. It was not his first affair on her, but it was his last. The woman called her family, his family and anyone he knew. Not one person would take him in. He had been warned.
Now fast forward the 48 hours. It just happens to be Thanksgiving night and you are hosting both sides of your families for dinner. Right in the middle the phone rings.
You go and answer the phone and it is the wife of the person you cheated with saying... time is up! Did you tell him...put him on the phone because I am in my car on the way over. No, she didn't tell him because of the holiday. G's friend had to beg and plead and basically cry to be given twelve more hours and then go back and compose herself for the rest of dinner. That night she put her children to bed and sat her husband down. He was devastated and it was a long night of talking.
She has to go to counseling and get std testing for them to remain a couple.
This situation effected four children from both families. Two families torn apart.

Person B left to be with her "soulmate" two nights ago. He lives across the country and she left to see if they were compatible during a three week vacation. This morning G gets a phone call. Her friend's husband is in the psych ward. Last night after drinking himself in a drunken rage he took a gun out of the gun cabinet and told his eighteen year old son he was ending his own life. The son dialed 911 and ran out of the house with his hands in the air hysterical that is dad was really going to do it. The police tackled the son because they were not sure what the story was and thought he was going to harm them. When they finally figured out it was a suicide call and the son was just distraught they let him go and took the father to the psych ward. G's friend doesn't know what to do because her son will only scream terrible names at her into the phone for how she ruined his family. G may have to go talk to him and find out if he is ok because she is the only one who knows what is happening because of the embarrassment factor.

If I would read through this without knowing these people I would think poor, trash on the bad side of town. Not the case, all upper middle class professionals. All living in the suburbs in happy looking houses full of children who are living uphappy lives because their moms are putting themselves before family.
It just sickens me. G sits and thinks about what to say to each of them, but I told her not to struggle so much. Nothing she says will change anything. She has lost all respect for all three of them and would really like to turn her back on all of them.

We joked about what would happen if one of us cheated. I said it was impossible to have a private life on top of the one I am already living. I told G her stuff was out over the balcony and she could pick it up in the snow bank. We giggled, but them promised each other that if we started to have doubts about the relationship we would talk about it and work things out....but never cheat.

We are going to pop in some movies tonight and tomorrow is the Lword premiere!!

Oh yeah, my best friend called this afternoon and said her husband ok'd a fourth child. This is something that could affect my next six years. Yikes! We shall see what transpires.


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