Still the Season

Things settled down a bit. Mom feels better for the most part, her medicines are giving her leg and toe cramps, but we aren't too worried about that. I can't seem to lift this depression. I haven't unpacked my suitcase and I keep my phone on me at all times. I keep waiting for a another frightening phone call and it just keeps me on edge.
We seemed to be having a really good morning and even went out to lunch. Afterward, we stopped at the grocery store and by the time we came out it was snowing something fierce. We are supposed to get about six inches. When I saw the snow something just snapped again in me. We went to get a Christmas tree, but all I could do was sit and cry in the car. Some of this is the stress of the last two weeks, some of it is the seasonal affective disorder, and the rest, well,... I could probably use some anxiety medicine right now. My coping skills are not the best. Work has been harsh and getting time off for the holidays from my best friend is turning out a little different then expected.
We did manage to get a really nice tree, although it cost 40 dollars. That is getting a little pricey. We came home and I just started working on decorations and cleaning our storage room. I wish we could get rid of some things and make the room into a little studio of some sort. We have so much crap from college and just plain crap.
Even though It doesn't feel like it, we are in the middle of the Christmas season and so tomorrow I will finish the tree and hang some lights on the fireplace. At least it will fill cozy and warm.