Neurosis Part 1

I spent the day in a van with my mother, grandmother, and one of my sisters. We went to my old college town to have lunch and do some shopping. I don't know if they freaked me out more than I freaked them out, but perhaps it's even.

I was feeling a little down today as G called this morning from Chicago and said she had made a mistake about me not coming along. I thought I would be going with her and was quite surprised that she thought it more reasonable that I go visit family while she takes the test.
She thought that it would be less stressful to just go down and concentrate on the test the night before without distraction. I really didn't say too much about it, but was feeling slightly hurt that it would be that way.
She ended up paying over three hundred dollars for a spectacular room with a great view and nobody to share it with. The reason for the price was Chicago is booked this weekend for ALA (I should be there myself) and some marathon.
I told her to just enjoy herself, but not to converse with any other librarians this weekend.
She promised to make it up to me for being wrong about the weekend and I told her it was ok, New York is only a couple weeks away anyway.

So, I am at lunch with the relatives and I announced that I was going to Europe in 07. I didn't get a response as they were chattering on about the food. I tried again in animated fashion, "hello, I am going to Europe in 07!" Ok, so grandma is ninety and doesn't hear most of what is said, but my mom and sister don't have any hearing problems. This time I got a look, kind of like if I said I was going to to hell in a handbasket. My mom asked why, and my sister asked if I were afraid. I said that G wanted me to go and that I decided it would be fun to go back to Germany. That was totally it, not another question or even an, "oh, thats nice."

Fast forward to the store. My mom is in the plastic flower section. She wants to know if I realize that my aunt called and said that there weren't any flowers on my father's grave.

Me: " mom, who cares, dad isn't there, it's just crappy plastic."

Mom: " It just doesn't look good for it to be empty. It's like we don't care."

Me: " So now we have grave patrol. People walk around and see if you placed the appropriate plastic crap on the graves. He's not there, dad wasn't into real flowers, I can't see where he would like faded plastic ones. "

Sister: " I want Bar B Q's and those cheesy potatoes for the funeral lunch when I die.

Me: " Thats crazy , Why do you care what people eat?"

Sister: " I just do, please respect my wishes."

Grandma: " I don't want anyone staring at me in the casket. If they didn't visit me when I was alive, they can't come to my funeral."

Me: " What do we do grandma, take a survey?"

Mom: " I guess I won't get the flowers. I'll tell them you said it was just cheap, plastic crap."

Me: " Can we just go home?"

We couldn't go home just yet because we had to stop at the cemetary. I hate this with a passion because I am made to get out and search for all the relatives I have never even met.
We drive up to where my dad is buried and low and behold, hanging on a piece of metal is a basket of faded flowers.

Me: " Well look mom, don't worry, the flowers are in place. Nobody can speak bad of us.

Mom: " Who put flowers here, I didn't give anyone permission to put those flowers there."

Sister: " Don't step on him, you walked right across him!"

Me: " I just stepped on the side, he is six feet below, calm down."

Mom: " Look at the fresh flowers on your grandparents grave. See, your uncle comes out here and waters them all the time."

Me: " That is so not normal. Ok, everyone in the van."

I leave tomorrow. I love them all, but enough is enough.