I have to write about what happened today because it was just crazy. I was outside with the kids in the backyard while they were playing in their pool and very large bouncy house. It's like a dream play area for kids which makes it easier for me. Anyway, the dog got out of the house because the kids kept going in and out to get drinks and towels. When the dog gets out it is very difficult to get him to come back. Luckily, it was a hot day and I knew that without water he wouldn't be gone to long.
Unfortunately, he did come back about a half hour later. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him running through the back yards of neighbors down the block. As he got closer, I noticed he had something in his mouth. I knew that cats will bring dead birds to your feet if they catch them because they think you will like it, and I began to think that maybe dogs were the same way, and he might have some kind of animal in his mouth. As he came into the yard, I panicked because this was looking like some kind of foot hanging there. I screamed (and I am not proud of this since the kids were with me) "holy shit, what the fuck is that? Everyone in the house now!" I grabbed my cat who was out there, the nine year old grabbed the baby who was on his lap, and the 6 six year old followed. We literally leaped through the sliding glass door and slammed it without a second to spare. I turned to see what it was that he was bring us, but the dog ran around to the front door to try and get in. The six year old started to cry because the nine year old ran to the front window and yelled that the dog had some kind of leg in it's mouth. Being the adult in the situation, although it wasn't looking like it, I went to the front to take a look. I couldn't believe I was peering down at a deer leg. It was a leg that was broken off at the joint, blood and all. It still had the fur and hoof and so I thought it couldn't be to far removed from the body. For one instant I thought the damn dog may have attacked a deer in a field, but quickly realized it probably had been hit by a car and the dog took the leg from the scene. The six year old was screaming about where the rest of the deer might be, as I was wondering how I was going to get the dog on the chain without getting close to the leg. I walked out the door and the dog brought the leg right to my feet and I grabbed him and put him on the chain. He then picked up the leg and ran around me with it. I thought I would just leave him with it until my friends came home, but then I thought I should get it away from him because I didn't want him spreading a disease to my cat. So, I found a large snow shovel in the garage and when the dog dropped the leg, I scooped it up and tossed it into a line of trees behind the house. The dog was filthy, but I was already past the point of what I cared to do, so, I just left him there.
I knew I had to end this in a manner in which the kids wouldn't have nightmares, so I went and got them and showed them the leg. I told them that the dog found it on the road somewhere and everything was ok now.
This kind of thing is so not what you expect in suburbia. Well, I guess if you take away the farms and forests and build subdivisions this is bound to happen. I called my best friend to tell her about our little emergency and she called her husband and told him I thought the dog attacked a deer. Now I will never live that down. He said if he saw any three legged deer on his way home he would let us know. Very funny. I am exhausted.