Friday, June 17, 2005

College Days

I need to write a little about this time of my life. I don't really like to remember it because it is painful, but if I am being honest in my story I need to.
I had my first relationship with a woman back in college. I think It was out of loneliness on both our parts. This person is now happily married with children and still a friend. It has never come up, it will never come up, but I think that G is right when she says many women have to capability to experiment at one point or another. I certainly never felt any guilt about what happened and when it ended I was devastated.
Of course I was confused as to what had happened when I realized what I had just been through. I started dating men. I came very close to getting married twice. I stopped them both when they were about to buy the rings. They were good Christian men who were very, well, nice I guess is all I could every say. There was no emotional attachment and I knew there never would be. I kept trying and it always ended the same.

One a side note here, my partner was attending the same college as I was at the time. She was a few years ahead of me and I totally wasn't ready for her yet. We attended the same concert (Neil Young) and she got up on stage and danced with him. She had just done a semester abroad in Europe and was with a Spanish girl. That is an excellent story that I will write about at some point. Anyway, G went back to Europe for another year and so her time actually on campus was short. I know that if we would have met she would have thought I was a total geek and I would have thought her outrageous.


At 10:48 AM , Blogger Star said...

I like the new setup. It looks great.

Your writing reads differently, more free. I am glad you are writing so openly, it is a pleasure to read along.


At 7:11 AM , Blogger d t l said...

Thanks for your input!

It is a challege to write like this, but I really need to.

Most of my readers are European and I doubt any of this is shocking to them.
Those stumbling on from the religious aspect may feel differently. That is ok, it is why I need to do this.


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