Why Are You Saving That?
I have emails from the people I met over the year. In some cases, like the very first emails G and I wrote, it has helped me to reminisce about how we came to be. We were so careful, yet funny, witty, and full of life. We read them together and make fun of ourselves over things we said. We are very glad to have saved them.
In other cases, it is not a good idea to have saved conversations. Some of them are extremely painful. Is it possible to have something that happened four summers ago seem like yesterday? I read through some today and decided that after I write about what happened during the year, I have to delete the ones that cause me grief whenever I come upon them. There is no reason to keep them. It is actually not even healthy to look at them anymore. I am not that person anymore and neither is the other person. I will need to let it go.
posted by d t l @ 10:25 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I can absolutely relate to that feeling. I have journals, very detailed journals from the time when I was coming out. I read them now and then and I literally feel like I am right back in those moments. Even without the journals, I can just sit and think about it and I am transported to that time. I think that it is because everything was so intense and visceral. I think that 20 years from now I will still sit and be able to feel right back in those moments.
I did, however, get rid of all of the letters and most of the emails from that time. It definitely helped me to let go of a lot of pain and bad feeling.
I believe you are right about the intensity of the situations. It is hard not to be taken back in time.
Memories of a time can fade, a little of the harshness of words can be lost, but the written word is final.
I hope that I can, as you did, get rid of some of the messages. They affect me only a little less than they did back then.
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