In the past year I have let slip to many people that I am in the process of losing my religion. Most take this in a negative way because it sounds like I have given up entirely on my faith.
After reading some articles and the website of Anne Rice, I think I have a better understanding of what I am going through. I am actually redefining my beliefs. A lot has happened over the past five years and it would be wrong to think that I could go on thinking as I had before the changes occurred.
I have a basic belief in who Jesus was. Believe me, this has been tested and because of all the new people in my life, I sometimes have to even reevaluate that thought.
I haven't been to my church in a year. I went at Christmas because it is the basic birth story that I still cherish. I need to let go some of the negativity before I take a step toward including services once again.
People will probably think I am crazy because of all that is going on in the Catholic church, but I really respect some of their traditions. That is not to say I would become Catholic, but I am quite interested in studying the religion.
This is going to be a long process, but I think that in time I will figure things out for myself once more. I know that hatred and disrespect will no longer be a part of anything in the future.