Monday, October 31, 2005

Remember When..

I thought I would feel more refreshed after getting an hour back, but because it is dark now by 4:45 it kind of takes the wind out of ones sails. This will be tested tomorrow and Thursday evening.
I had a whole post written, but I hated everything about it. Sometimes I have the worst time analyzing.

Gretch spent the day with us. We went to lunch and then we drove to her sister-in-law's house so that she could get a haircut. I decided to have her do a trim on the baby also. Unfortunately, on the I, a rock came up and hit the top of the suv and cracked the window. We made it one month since the tire fiasco. I tell you, it seriously does not pay to buy a new vehicle. This will probably cost around $300 to fix.

Today was actually an experiment in what it will be like for G to have a week day off each week. She has been negotiating about some things at work since passing her exam. She was told she would not be getting any kind of increase in wages, but G isn't one to accept that kind of answer. She did tons of research and had a meeting with a boss higher on up the chain of useless management. She waited over a month, and was completed shocked when she was called into the office and informed she would be getting a substantial raise. This of course is great news all around. She really deserves to be making the kind of money she does. I did not know though, that she was thinking of reducing her hours a week based on the new pay scale. I guess the plan is to work 4 nine hour days and have a day off. We sat down and discussed if she should take off Fridays because that is my summer day off, now it is just a half day if I double up some hours in the evening. She decided that Monday would be a better day. I will have Friday hours free and she will have Monday. I just don't know about that. I don't want to have separate lives.

There are a lot of little things, like the days off, that cause me to pause and worry. I am not really sure what I even have the right to express half the time.
This is were I start thinking about resentment.

G has been great about letting me take time to find out what direction I want to proceed in my life. Maybe my taking this direction pause is kind of like her setting goals that I didn't know anything about. I think I stunned her with my thoughts on working and of course she did the same with her travel plans.

I am just confused about what is good for a relationship and what isn't. I know Gretch has experience in the long term relationship area. What works and what definitely doesn't. By the time she separated from her ex they were leading separate lives, almost like roommates. I think I think about the ex to much.
I think I ask about the ex to much.

Now I am starting to get like the last erased post and so I will stop. There are so many huge issues staring straight at me. I want to go back to "dating."
There are house issues, work issues, trip issues, family issues, etc..
It never ends.
When the hell did this happen??


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