Thought There Was Nothing To It

As I am scrubbing the kitchen floor this morning a cartoon skeleton with a scythe pops up on the TV....."Boys! What are you watching on that TV?"

"Grim"

"Grim, what do you mean Grim?"

"duh, it's the grim reaper, he helps people die."

"What! Turn that off right now, I swear I will call and sign you up for some Christian education right this minute if you don't listen."

"Daddy lets us, it is just cartoon network, besides we don't want to go to that school of yours, they are all nerds."

Nobody listens, but I do hear a crash from behind. The baby manages to slide her bowl of cereal right across and off the table. I have a big splatter of milk all over the floor I just washed. I leave the mess and carry the baby up to get her dressed. It is 11 and we are supposed to meet Gretch at the hospital for lunch in a half hour. I let the diaper fall to the floor by mistake, go to find a nice outfit for the baby, and slip and fly across the room on the diaper, but luckily land on the bed.
The baby asks, "did you fall?"

I hear wailing from the living room, I mean absolute shrieking . I run down the stairs to find the six year old has a terrible stomach ache that somehow started within the last five minutes . After ten minutes of this I call his mom and she says he has been having bad gas. I need to have him lay on his stomach with his legs folded.
By this point I am utterly exhausted and ready to throw up the white flag.

It finally passed after fifteen minutes of rubbing his back and we left the house with milk on the floor for later and chaos echoing from the walls.

When we arrive at the hospital Gretch is all cheerful with the kids and wonders why I don't share the same sentiments.

Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast, six naps at nine
Lonestar