Going Alone

So it is turning into a rough week. Good for building character if nothing else. Gretch and I are weathering some stuff. I don't like to be on opposite viewpoints, but sometimes we are so different in the way we see things. Now that we are being social again I have reverted back to wishing for more alone time. I'm not supposed to expect everyone to live like a hermit.
If I could get an out once in awhile, but it is always some kind of couple event and this makes it all impossible for me to not go.
This reminds me of how my mom has basically dropped out of everything since my dad died. She doesn't want to go anywhere alone.
I am so used to being alone, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I fear that one day I will have loved too long and will not be able to be alone again. It think that is one of the scariest things in the world, to feel alone after losing someone.