Thursday, April 14, 2005

It was interesting testing the waters last night when we went to dinner with some of G's friends. They asked about my job situation and I just said, "eight weeks and I am on a years sabbatical." The friend who has an appointment in city government asked if I would be willing to work outside of a library. She talked to someone about various other places that people are working with my degree. I explained that I wanted to take the year and think about what I wanted to do. I am not a networking type of person. Probably people wouldn't understand that, but I am not comfortable with this person. I am behind the scenes and she lives on the stage.
Anyway, G was great backing me up, proposing a toast to sabbaticals and that was amusing to me. On the other hand, these people are running a marathon in May and are terribly disappointed that G isn't joining them.
I backed her up when she said most of her free time was taken up studying and she wouldn't be able to join them on Memorial Day weekend. In all we had a great night and I felt very connected.
One of G's friends asked if I watched The Daily Show with Jon Steward.
She said I was the most sarcastic person she knew other than him. Believe it or not I took that as a compliment. I have been told I am rather funny with my comments. Probably because I call things out when I see them. I have to take in heaping loads of crap at work, but outside of that I will comment.
Yesterday on the way to work I heard Phil Collins singing I Don't Care Anymore. I looked up the lyrics and they are perfect. My theme song for the moment perhaps. "I didn't believe you much anyway" Every word of that song fits right now. I may even make a lefty comment at work one of these days. Just a little one. They are so hypocritical on the pope right now. Like they don't walk around proclaiming our sin all day long.
I know there are people who are in my situation who are clinging to their religion right now, but I want a break. I need a break because everything I hear doesn't' make sense anymore. That is very sad, and damaging.
Not that I want to break totally free. On Palm Sunday we went to the St. Louis Cathedral for their Mass in New Orleans. I am not Catholic, but I really enjoyed the service. I felt His presence and that is something I DO NOT feel at my church ever. I thought G was was going to freak out after the reading of the Gospel. It was literally twenty five minutes and we had to stand the whole time. I am impressed at the patience and lack of complaint at the whole morning. I love that church.
According to our doctrine, their church has to much symbolism and ornamentation. I find comfort in the pictures of the Holy Land. Perhaps I do daydream and wonder about those pictures and paintings, but at least I am thinking about Jesus, unlike in our church were I think about how much I hate being there. Of course there are some things I could never accept, like the devotion to Mary. Of course all of those issues are because it isn't the way I grew up. If I moved to New Orleans I would attend the Catholic church. Horrors!
I suppose I should make breakfast. It is really hard preparing all this food and not eating it. I wanted the pancakes yesterday. The butter and the syrup. I have gained weight over the past six months and in the last two weeks I have nipped that problem. I want to be able to wear shorts and so I can't be eating these wonderful breakfasts I make the kids.
Pehaps it's oatmeal this morning. I can do without that selection.


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