Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Hell Hath no Fury Like a Lesbian Scorned

There has been a lot of fall out from the fourth of July party where members of G's family that haven't spoken in years came together.
On Sunday night we were supposed to have dinner with G's dad and step mom. It did not happen. G decided to call her dad and tell him that until family relations improved in certain instances, she was unable to see them. I could hear Gretch in the bedroom talking rather loudly to her father. It made me so nervous that I started cleaning furiously and I even ended up shampooing the carpet. I'm not sure how any of it is solvable. I am not sure anyone has the whole story correct, but one thing stands out and it has made me totally uncomfortable.

Gretch brought up the fact to her father that she had been disowned by him for a year when she came out a long time ago. He said that although he does not approve of her lifestyle, he thinks he has treated her very well since then and has never said anything further that could be considered negative. G knows that he told her brother and sister way back then that she would be going to hell.

I was aware that G had a negative experience with coming out, but I thought her father was past all of that. I am assuming he still thinks we are going to hell, he does not approve of our lifestyle?? The whole situation is extremely volatile with this other problem so I don't think I can discuss any of this with Gretch. She has assured me in the past that my family will ultimately come to terms with me being gay. I do not want my mom treat me like she always has, but think that I am still going to hell.
It is like a co-worker friend of G's who we went to dinner with the other night. She is very religious, but told Gretch that she can not judge us because it is up to God.
So basically, here on earth everything is alright, I am invited to your house, I can attend your weddings and birthdays, you can be upset when we miss your daughters graduation party, we can celebrate and grieve with you, but after I die, well sorry. That is just incredibly horrible.

It seems that whenever I think I am about to take a step closer, something else makes me take a step back. It just means they are winning. I swear I understand the anger some people have. When I was meeting people during that year, the anger was so apparent sometimes. I never want to be like that, but I know I could be as a defense to my own feelings.
I think that if anyone I know brought up the hell topic, I would absolutely lose it. I will have a verse ready for any person, and if you are divorced, ...oh I am so ready.


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