Monday, May 17, 2004

While I was out walking tonight I was reminded of the summer three years ago when I made a choice to stop living life alone. I walked a lot that summer to think about what direction my life was going. I had already tried dating and had some drama, but I felt that it was time to find someone to settle down with. I realized what that might mean for my life, but you get to a point when it really doesn't matter anymore. I felt so alone that I was willing to take a big risk in life.
It was also at this time that I made a grievous error and ruined a friendship with someone who I thought understood what I was going through because she was going through the same thing. It is obvious to me now that we were on a collision course because we were flying down the same path from opposite directions. We couldn't help one another. The friendship had to end, but I sure wish I wasn't the one who ended it in the way that I did. I will always remember being unforgiven. One of the absolute worse conditions to survive with.
Anyway, my conservative values and my liberal lifestyle continue to shake my world. I am no longer alone, but I am far from free.

So last Friday a quarter of my co-workers were off listening to G.W. speak. I went and listened in to some of it as they broadcast it for those of us left at work. I have gotten very good at keeping my mouth shut. Too good. I have a feeling I may be losing another friendship. My friend whom I met online and actually went out with once, is losing patience I'm afraid. That person moved away, but visits when back in town. Our emails lately have been a little tense. It is the job thing as usual.
Anyway, on Friday a parent complained that the teachers were being disrespectful because they happened to be Democrats. So we were questioned about the politics we talk about in our classes. I found that quite amusing. I just said I don't talk politics in class. No need to offer any more information then that. That family has gained some new respect by me.

Yikes, I am exhaused and I think we have some storms headed our way. Hope I can drop off before that starts. I am going to check on what G is up to. I believe watching that new PBS show on the pilgrims. I will pass on that and go to bed.


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