Thursday, January 27, 2005

I've been trying to direct my dreams. It has gotten to the point were I dream about work every single night and I think 10 hours a day at that place is just about enough. I have started to think about a place other than work as I am drifting off to sleep, but so far it hasn't worked. I know I am just getting over the stress of the day, but I need something to refresh me. I need a different perspective. I think my creativity has been overtaken by the dreary, everyday redundancy of my job.

I know a while back I said I was happy with the mundane, but now I feel unmotivated. Nothing is pushing me. Not that I need my job to pick up, but perhaps I could start writing again.

I have been reading Delivering Doctor Amelia. I guess there isn't any other reason I picked it up other than I love biographies. The Author, Dan Shapiro seems like a doctor I could trust. I know I toss things out once in awhile about seeing someone, and no, a follow through probably wouldn't happened unless I was dragged in, but I do ponder it often.
The following quote is from the book. I have notebooks that I copy quotes into and this one stood out today. If I can't be creative, I can relay what others people are expressing.

"In the end, we have the same frailties we had before training. The same tendency to make bad decisions when we're exhausted. The same fear of failure, the same desperate desire to be loved, the same fierce need for respect, even with lab coats and framed diplomas, even with the admiring words of relatives over Thanksgiving dinner, in the trenches of our professions all of us can fail."


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